Different sex drives in a relationship does NOT equal the freedom to cheat at will; however, there will always be those partners who stray while whining about their spouses’ sex drive or lack thereof, which is complete and utter BS. There are plenty of alternatives for partners to explore together to resolve the situation that don’t involve cheating. See HERE for some ideas on how to work with different sex drives in relationships.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of cheaters out there and it’s very tough for the other spouse to deal with the situation after they’ve been cheated on. The first and most important thing that most experts say on the subject it is not your fault if your partner cheats on you, regardless of whatever excuse he or she may give you. Even if you have a low sex drive, there’s no such thing as an automatic license to cheat.

Douchebags like Pat Robertson offer up bullshit advice that the spouse who has been cheated on should have dressed up a little more and should have attempted to look a little prettier for her man in the first place. I don’t know about you, but I tend not to go to the 700 Club for relationship advice. Watch the video Via Slog HERE.

More realistic advice is to seek counseling immediately; although counseling is expensive, more and more health care plans are including counseling in their health care coverage and there are quite a few fee-sliding scale counselors out there. If counseling fails or if your spouse refuses to get counseling with you, that’s when the relationship really gets tough.

At this point,  the Internet experts seem to have little concrete advice to offer: of the sites I found on the topic of dealing with the infidelity of a spouse, most suggested giving yourself time to deal with it, one site suggested a trial separation in order to give you space from your partner, and almost every site that I read suggested that the partner communicate effectively with the cheater (something that is much easier through the facilitation of a counselor) with the goal of setting boundaries and re-building trust.  Communication, of course, requires both partners and a willingness of the cheater to be honest to start fresh.

The best advice that I saw for both cheaters and those who were cheated on was from Dr. Phil. He also stresses that it is not your fault if you are cheated on and claims that staying in the marriage for the children is not the best option unless both partners are willing to move forward in the relationship.