Are People Meant to Be Monogamous?

Chimpanzee LoveIs monogamy the natural way for couples to live? I truthfully don’t know, but Psychologist Christopher Ryan doesn’t think so. He claims that in the past days of the hunter-gatherer, everything was shared because of the close proximity in which people lived. When the idea of personal property came into being, the idea of monogamy gained importance along with the eventual biblical ideas of not coveting another’s wife.  Christopher Ryan believes that agriculture and personal property also led to the belief that women were more likely to seen as property than as individuals contributing to society.

So far, I can see where he is coming from. Closer communities would have had to share more based on their very nature alone- it would be harder for individuals in a community like that to do otherwise. However, when he starts discussing human sexuality in terms of chimpanzees and human bodies, his argument seems to lose some credibility in my opinion.

Christopher Ryan discusses the frequency that female Chimps have sex- several times a day and the capacity of women to have multiple orgasms. He contends that the frequent sex of the Chimpanzee females “led them to enjoy frequent group sex that leaves everyone relaxed and conflict-free.”

This is where the author/psychologist gets more than a little warmed up; he then writes about the pendulous breasts of females and the large testicles of man which indicate an equally large capacity for sperm-storage, all of which he says “prove” that our ancestors were really into promiscuous sex.

In the CNN article that Christopher Ryan wrote, he doesn’t go so far as to advocate non-monogamy for all couples or suggest that everyone should be polygamous or polyamorous, but does remind people that while a couple can choose how to structure a relationship, it’s no different from an individual choosing to be a Vegan.

"But newlyweds would be wise to remember that just because you've chosen to be vegan, it's utterly natural to yearn for an occasional bacon cheeseburger."

Of course, I can understand that some couples choose what I’ll call alternative lifestyles and have absolutely no problem with this, but I don’t think it works for everyone. First of all, a strong desire for multiple sex partners is one thing, but the reality of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies are quite another. The reality is that “the group” will not be dealing with the issue of an unwanted pregnancy, the woman who is pregnant will be dealing it. Also, by just focusing on the sexual needs of the body, Christopher Ryan leaves out the emotional needs of a family, which seems to be a male standpoint on the issue of non-monogamous relationships. We are no longer living in hunter-gatherer times and from what I can understand, in many places where polygamous relationships are accepted in Africa, the tragic issue of AIDS has become a harsh reality for many individuals to face because HIV is not only passed on between sexual partners, but to children as well.